The holidays are the worst.  I know Halloween isn't really a holiday, but I feel left out of a celebration.  And the point is it is just not about Halloween.  It is about Holidays in general when you are sick and going through chemo.  I want things to be like always.  I want Christmas to be the same, where I have the whole family out and many of them overnight.  I want to cook the turkey for thanksgiving....I want to make mashed potatoes.  I want to do the dishes with the girls in the kitchen.  It's the whole deal of it.  This is the hardest part for me.  My daughter is doing my Christmas shopping.  I am struggling.  I will discuss this with my chemo doctors this week.  To be honest with you, I would rather get chemo and feel terrible for Christmas and Thanksgiving.  I just want this over.  We will see what they all say about the schedule.  They need time with their families too.  Please lets just get this over.  That would be the best Christmas present ever. - Becky